Why can't other people give in to the innate urge to be happy when other people are happy? Isn't laughter, smile, sugar spice and everything nice as contagious as H5N1 in chickens and turkeys?

I have been "with" my Fiance' for a considerably long time now. We have shared quite a bit of ups and downs "together" (the quotation marks indicate pruverbialness due to our proximity from each other; uhm about a whole ocean, but we are really together sill, no matter what). We have share some with friends, some we kept to ourselves, some caused some tears to roll down and some we thought would just go away and die a natural death.

She recently told me that she received a text message from an unidentifiable entity telling her "bad things". Well, to cut it short, someone is out to break us apart. Telling "bad things" about me. Well, that person does not know what waste of time he'she had to go through to send that message, coz plainly, he/she is not going through. Message invalid. I was thinking how that person searched for a free internet service to be able to send an SMS message to my fiance'. Imagine the effort and time spent. This person must really have no life. None whatsoever. I'm assuming this is the same person that sent her messages through Madsy's YM and some on to her Myspace a long time ago. Grow up. Move on.

It's sad how far other people would go just to make other happy people's lives miserable. As miserable as theirs I guess. This person probably makes his/her life interesting by reading pocketbooks wee into the middle of the night, or have several textpals with encoded names and uses a different name as well. He or she probably is still telling herself that all her/his failed relationship(s) in the past is not his/her fault and that he/she is the victim, and that its not his/her lost. Bitter? I thought so too.

This same person is probably wasting precious money-making time by looking at my profile and reading this actual brain fart that I'm having in the middle of the night. To some Hannibalish degree, I feel flattered for the time this person is spending on me and mads, so he/she can do recon work on us and try to clean hi/her tracks so we cannot figure out who he/she is. Dont worry, there is no figuring out. It's obvious who you are, and it's just sad. No, not pathetic, it's... Sad.

I don’t go out to the world and claim that we are happy that we hav the most perfect of relationships that we are invincible. No. Not really, We cry often together and by ourselves. Sometimes even over the phone because we just, well, plainly miss each other. We litter our work and living space with pictures of each other because for every sad moment that we have we have a bigger happy smile to replace that, thanks to the memories we have of each other. We also keep ourselves strong stable and happy by thinking of the other things we have planned and have in store for each other for the rest of our lives together.

So, this is just one brain fart of mine on blog. If that person is reading this; Kudos to you because I actually spent time for you. Aren’t you happy? Isn't that what you want? Well, here you go. But in actuality, I've got more important things to do like wipe the shit off of my shoe, yes that's more important than you. But this one time is an exception. There is no shit on my shoe coz its all in you mouth.

One thing that makes me sleep well at night is that this person tries to be anonymous. If he or she is really concerned, he/she would have come forward, introduced him/herself to establish credibility and actually blurted out her/his "concern". But no. He/she had to be mysterious. Oh well... Sad. I'll go to sleep now knowing that this person thinks he/she is the center of the world, that this person is bitter that people are not talking about her, that this person dwells on the past mistakes and thinks that it is not his/her fault, that this person does not have space in her/his mind and heart for change, improvement, for forgiveness and the possibility of a truly blessed and happy life.

You know who you are. And so do I. And so do our other friends and acquaintances. They would probably also think you are pathetic and boring. They would think more lowly of you now because of all the effort you are pouring onto this very petty thing that is out of your reach and way beyond your understanding.

I wish you a happier outlook in life, I wish you someone who can show you that life can be better than imagined, I wish that you'd realize that you'd rather sleep than waste your time, that you'll know that happinnes is a good thing and that someone who does not wish happinnes to his friends and loved ones do not wish happinnes to themselves. I really do, I wish you freedom from bitterness and that you will finally know that being happy can be, well, a choice sometimes, just like being bitter.

I am not here to prove to everybody how much I love Mads. It's only to her that I need to prove it to every single waking moment and every moment in between.

Moving to La la Las Vegas within the next three months. I'm moving up in the company. New department, new people, new job.

Plan to buy a house or a condo - whichever presents itself first as a good choice for investment.

I'm engaged!

Ladies and Gentlemen... the future Mr. and Mrs. Jab Buhay:

I'm older. Im in my mid 20's now. I'll be 24 this 22nd MLA or PST - it doesnt matter. Im still old-er.

Here is my new truck. My very own truck...

Monster V6 engine, 250 HP, 4wheel drive, standard roof rack, smart hill ascent/descent assist control. It just ooozes with the word adventure...

Nice huh?

Nice huh? That's a retired Lifeguards dream. Yeah... Im retired... sigh.

I think I hear the Baywatch theme... Gootta go!

click on the link for videos!

 http://media.putfile.com/Galera-Video

Chronicles of a Pawtographer

Adventure has always been coupled with images. The next best thing to a good story of adventure and reckless abandon would be pictures of that. For the longest time we had to balance two things when we want to go out and have a great time either in a theme park or the Jungles of Batangas. Do we bring a big ol' SLR so we can capture very good pictures? Or do we sacrifice quality for mobility by bringing a point and shoot 35mm camera. Choices.

Come the digital age. Outrageously overpriced technology that allows you to be trigger happy and waste shots on self portraits where you hold the camera with arms length and, voila a nice shot of you and another friend. Do you want to bring your digital camera when you go on a rented balsa in Nasugbu? Do you want to bring it when you want to reach the peak of Mt. Banahaw during that cold september weekend? What if it rains?

Ladie and Gentlemen. Welcom the Pentax optio wpi. An above average camera for the above average adventures. You will actually find yourself waiting for a typhoon so you can take your pictures with mouths open tasting the sweet rain. You will find nemo and capture him with your 6-megapixel camera while snorkling.

The versatile digital camera boasts of a below market average size and weight for a camera. You can forget about blurry shots on that bumpy jeepney ride to Majayjay, Quezon. The camera fits in your pocket. Imagine a second cellphone. This camera has no moving parts such as a function wheel likeon olympus digital cameras or the telescopic zoom lenses like sonys. Do not worry about dust or sand accumulating in the little nooks and cranys. It wont happen with this baby.

This camera has, get this, ten buttons. Your cellphoone has on average, sixteen buttons. That's it. It also has almost two dozen settings for different situations from action to underwater. All in just a few movements of the thumb.

Here's an additional feature that kills it all. High Quality video and audio recording. (yes, even underwater) So, if your thinking of buying a digital video camera, dont. You get tired of watching long family videos anyways. The small 3 minutes clips are more fun! With this camera, you can take more than two dozen of those.

The Pentax Optio Wpi handles SD cards of all sizes. The larger the capacity, the longer the video, the higher quality pictures one can take. For a decent trip a 512 MG or 1Gig SD card will be more than sufficient. You can use the USB cable to direclty upload your pictures and recording onto your PC without the use of any programs! (although the ACDsee imagecapture program is included in the box, your stanard PC can still do the trick) Travelling and uploading pictures from a public computer is the reason for this great feature. You also have the option of viewing the pictures and videos straight from your TV set via an RCA cable proveded. Your 512MB SD card can record up to more than an hour of 30 frames per second videos or 400 shots of 6 megapixel pictures. (in reality, all you need is a 3 megapixel shot for it to compare to traditional film prints.) The battery can last for a whole days work of more than 200 photos. Charging is easy and simple. An extra battery is always a good back up plan.

Phew! I made the technical part as interesting as I can. Still curious after that? I hope so. You can bring this camera in any type of situation for the curious. That's the Pentax Optio Wpi. The markets first off the shelf waterproof 6-megapizel digital camera.

For a sample video from the writer go to http://media.putfile.com/galera-and-sanmig-lite. Pictures can be found in www.photos.yahoo.com/ph/madsynjabby18

 

In about twenty-two hours I will be on a Philippine Airlines flight to Manila. The only stop would be a quick re-fuel somewhere in the Pacific. Im crossing the mighty ocean to see my Girlfriend.

Ten months ago we parted with a kiss at 4am May, 22 in an intersection in Pasig City. She rode her taxi and I went on mine. The last time I saw her was when my ride took a left, hers took a right, she was looking at me, her eyes on mine her hand on the window of the cab. Not a second later I realized that I was letting go of the best thing that my life has ever been accorded.

In less than forty eight hours I will be asking that same girl to marry me. I will kneel in front of her, offer her a ring and ask her to be my bride, my wife, the mother of my spawn, my bestfriend, partner in crime, my confidant, my lover.

The past ten months have been rough. It has been really hard for me and her. Of all the people in the world, we were given each other. We were even given a relationship that will not just test time but also patience, faith and trust. Ten months later, look at me and her... Happy, contented, hopefull and thankfull.

She has taught me patience, and that life is to be taken a day at a time. She has taught me wisdom and tackling the most mundane to the most outrageous of problems. She has kept me calm and collected through the most roughest of times. She has kept me dreaming and taught me that it only begins there, that the real test is making it come true. She has taught me the powers of prayers, that faith is not of whats to come but has has already been given.

Will I miss the gimicks? The boys night out? Will I miss the "good ol' days"? I might. Well, I will. But, it's nice keeping them that way. Keeping them as memories to look back on, as lessons learned, scars earned and laughter shared. Now that we have each other, we've got more of those things coming our way and the best part of it is that, well, we have each other.

I will be the first to admit that I was never a model boyfriend. I could have been everybody's best friend, but I guess thats where it all started. To be everybody's bestfriend is to be nobody's boyfriend. I had targets all over myself for people to pick on.

I love my friends, and I trust they love me to. I will choose my Girlfriend over them, trusting that they will choose to stand by their loved one first than by me. I will ask them to be happy for me and support me as I will them.

I love her for one, because she saw through me. Through the bull that people say about me. For sticking it through.

I love her for staying even though at times her presence was not acknowledged.

I love her for her willingness to sacrifice everything even if she already has nothing left.

I love her for telling me "shhh...no more sorries, it's ok..."

I love her for always remembering all the big things and alot of the little things in the past years we've known each other. For every new memory made, she has one for that past for us to talk and laugh about.

I love her for her faith in the Lord. I lover her so much for that.

I love her coz... I love her.

I love you Mads... I love you so much mahal ko.

I WILL see you in a little bit.

 

 

 

Driving on the way home in the busy wet streets of Manila is both relaxing and unsettling. You can't wait to lay your back on your bed and hug that soft pillow and lull yourself to sleep.

A knock on your car gave a pause to what was already relaxing. It was a blind woman with a six year old boy holding her hand. You look at them both and ask yourself why they are outside in the rain in clothes you wouldnt even wash your car with. You think their eyes are piercing you but you know that your windows tint will not let that. You look at the stop light and reach for your cars ash tray that has all your coins.  You rolled down your window just enough for half your hand to hand them the coins.

The light turns green, you wiped your hand that handed the money on your jeans justifying to yourself that it was wet becuase of the rain.

When you got home you washed your hands and your face. Brushed your teeth and got ready for bed. It was a good days work, alas, its just tuesday tomorrow.

On your way out the bathroom you saw at the corner of your eye a little pest. The cockroach was crawling up the wall right beside the toilet. Stealthily you reach for your right tsinelas, and with ninja like precision you throw it at the critter.

A pause.

Good shot.

What remains of the critter was now on a larger area of the wall and the floor, not to mention your tsinelas. But, oh well... That's that. Walis and tissue cleans everything up. You wash your hands again and you find yourself wiping your hand on your PJ's.

While fluffing your pillow you remember the face of the woman and the child in the rain. You remember their eyes; one pair of blind eyes and another pair that was wishing it was not seeing what is reality for him. Unconsciously you wipe the same hand for the third time on the same spot.

In your bed, comfortable under the sheets with the pitter patter of the rain you wonder why you think you're going to have a hard time sleeping tonight.

You ask yourself. Are there more of them out there? What should I do? That one little thing that I did was probably an insignificant act to help the situation. How will I be able so sleep tonight knowing that that one little thing that I saw earlier would definitely mean there are more of them. Out there in the dark, in the shadows of society, there's more of them. They are there waiting for our scraps, feeding on our left overs, on our dirt.

You ask yourself: "How will I get rid of those raoches?"

We will walk around the campus at night, maybe for one last time, holding hands, bursting in stories of our past and for tomorrows.

Don't worry, I won't ask you to finish your beer. You can pour it in a glass filled with Ice, and I will drink from your bottle. I want to make the night last, I don't want you to be too tipsy.

We will have one nice drive home. No music, just you and me, holding hands, hear each other breath. Who knows, we might detour to a nice adventure.

We'll go shopping. Get a footspa, manicure and probably a facial.

I think I don't want to go to sleep. It might be a waste of time. Well, ok, maybe just a few hours.

We'll listen to Frank Sinatra serenade us with his cool. Maybe we can break into a dance.

I will cry when I see you this march Mads. I will cry and hug you. I will kiss you and will tell you I missed you so much. I will wipe your tears, you will wipe mine.

We'll watch every sunset of everyday we are together. We will also try to catch the sunrise that follows.

We will pig out with a movie or two or three!

I will try to bring you the most beautiful place I know and enjoy Tapsi ni vivians after that.

We will cry. Alot. Fearing of that moment when we have to let go again and part. I'm scared Mads. But we can only be strong. We will know that we will be together again not long after.

Remember when we told each other to take it a day at a time? That we would make sure at the end of the day we are both happy? That's what we'll do. It has since worked for us so that might work. I still fear the pain though, of leaving you. If you think about it, we are given this great chance to spend time together. When that will end, we will go back to normal (what is now) but we will have more stories and pictures and jokes to look back on. We will also have more hope than ever for that next meeting. The one where there will be no end.

I love you Mads. I'll see you soon...

I miss you so so terribly...

Jab: I want to tell you something
mdsy_socrates: okay...
Jab: The past few days and weeks
Jab: I always find myself almost in tears
Jab: or in actual tears when I think about you
Jab: Sending you a msg or looking at your pic or writing you a love letter
Jab: I told myself I dont want to risk this wonderful thing that we both have
Jab: I told myseld, this is as good as it gets
Jab: Bebeh, I told myself Im sure of just a few things.
Jab: That I love you and you love me
Jab: that I want to be with you forever

The drive was amazingly tasking. It was - long.

After miles and miles of road there are more miles and miles of road. The Van was packed to that last nook and the littlest cranny. Food, blankets, pillows and bags filled us to the brim but somehow there was level of comfort.

We arrived in New Mexico and finally met with my brother. It was a warm welcome amidst the cold desert air. And then another drive to the AFB.

The place we got had one room, one bath, no dining table and a small living room. No one actually complained. No one actually really mind. Somehow, comfort was not an issue.

We drove to White Sands. It was very very similar to the white sands we have at home. But this one did not have a beach. It did not have the sound of the waves on the background. In the middle of the dessert was a white oasis of sand cooling beneath the desert sunset. All around you will see the mountains dividing Texas, Mexico, New Mexico and Arizona. You will see the lines on the rust colored bare mountains from the prehistoric sea levels that had this area deep beneath the reach of the sun.

We had our own little thanksgiving dinner without the big table, without the actual turkey without pumpkin pie. It was still something we all appreciated.

The next day we anjoyed a little piece of texas. Well, with all the big things at had to offer, like ribs and steaks and a big old view...

What did we do the next day? We went to this place called albequerque. Albequerque?

Then we went home... great drive