"Run!!!"

"Ruuunnnnnn!!!!"

Run for your lives! The sponsors are coming! It was like something picked from Jules Verne's brain. The acting was good, the story was good... But good God... let go of the PR. Ben and Jerry's, Cadillac, Chrysler, AmEx, Puma...they were everywhere!

See the movie - The Island.

The rain has been pouring in Manila and LB. The dampness of the air and the coolness of the atmosphere is what I miss. I miss sitting inside, hearing the pitter patter, the calmness, waiting for the calm.

I miss going out after the rain. Everyone dodging puddles with smiles on their face, sporting their jackets.

I miss going out in the rain, I miss wearing a squishing pair of shoes, my back wet from the rain, my lower pants getting heavy after trying to keep dry. I miss the macdonalds hot chocolate in the morning or in the afternoon.

However, there is something that I miss dearly...something which I barely did when I was in LB. I miss sitting with mads on the bed, reading a book on a rainy afternoon. I miss staring at her eyes during dinner while a chaotic downpour ravages the outside world. I miss playing with her in the rain, kissing her wet face and hugging and squeezing her tight while being soaked during the midnight rain.

I miss those things becuase I keep on seeeing them in my imagination, in my dreams.

I find myself walking aroung old town before and after work. Seeing movies, going into stores having a meal by myself. I find myself exploring this town without anyone beside me. I find myself doing this and wishing that she was right beside me, holding my hands and telling what to look at and try on. I wish My Mads was with me... Soon though. After some patience, after some time. It's worth it. She's worth it all and more.

The rain, the dreams, with this hardwork and faith - It will become a reality again. A reality that I will not miss anymore becuase I will be living it - soon...

On our recent family reunion here in LA, the three families, the Buhays, Juicos and Cruzs went to Sin City Las Vegas.

There was drinking, gambling, fooling around and alot of walking. There was the staying up late and sleeping in betweens and digital photography from start to end. There was even transport eating - my little code phrase for "not wanting to spend on restaurants so we brought with us food that we can eat in the car while parked somewhere" thing.

Wynn, Bellagio, MGM only some of the places we went... We even made a 12 hour side trip going to the Grand Canyon, where we only spent 30 minutes taking pictures due to tha lack of time and parking slots.

Nothing though, beats the trip. Drivers switched and swapped. The Parent drivers were not much of any help becuase they tire easily, and, well, they cant see in the dark. Not to mention they are mostly from Manila (They are not used to driving on the freeway, it freaks them out).

One of the most memorable moments I had was the last 100Miles home. From the Grand Canyon, it was an eight hour, 500 mile, drive back home.

On the last rest stop, after driving from morning, the whole day and way into the next morning - Myself and my brothers (Yoyo and Li), brought the family home.

Yo was driving the Taurus, Li was in the V6 Chrysler and I was driving the 4-cylinder Voyager MiniVan. The last hundred miles, the last stretch from somewhere in Barstow to Pasadena in California.

It was - Suicide - My Brothers and I were taking the family home. With everyone sleeping, tired, snoring, My Brothers and I were summoning our last stretch of strength and sanity to drive the last hundred miles.

We were looking after each other. Constantly on the phone calling the other just to check if he can still make it, if he can still drive or if he is comfortable with the big rig trucks zigzagging the freeways with us.

Every inch of our physycal and mental strength to stay awake was overpowered by our will to drive back home. Later on, the freeway started looking familiar, we were home. Good Job to my brothers - to Yo and Li. I cannot be more proud of you. The Buhay Brothers brought the whole family home. Tired, we unpacked, got the whole house ready for sleeping detail (setting up the different rooms and even the living room so everyone can sleep).

We ended (rather started the day) at 5am with a bout of Corned Beef and Rice. We were all smiling, happy and just damn glad we were home.

Have you ever had those moments when you realized that you will eventually leave that spot you are on and that situation you are in and actually realize you will be somewhere else sooner or later? I mean, have you ever felt not living in that present state and actually be aware of a future state that you will have?

Will that change the way you will work with what is happening right now?

About a year ago I was lying down on my bed in our dorm room looking at the rain outside. The cold wind rushes in as the outside begins to flood. I left the door open during that afternoon so that I can get some RnR. I was there thinking, in a cuople of months I will be back in the states, all of this will be in the past and I will be breathing a different air and having a different feeling. I asked myself. Will I be happy? Will have feelings of regret or remorse? I kept on asking - It didnt hurt. But, yes, it did make me do some stuff that time that I know I will look back on in the future (right now) and feel good and at the same time wished I hadn't had done it.

Confusing? Dont worry, this is just for my thoughts. I want to try to capture them before they float into oblivion.

Here are some moments I can always have fun when looking back on.

- The rain from inside my apt.

- The quiet 4am walks from the Bars back home.

- The feeling of success after a theatre production

- Settling in my spot behind the counter of IC's spinning music

- Getting a drink or two or more with friends

- Sunset watching

- Afternoon Runs

- Driving, just driving down the expressway early in the morning

- Org meetings

Is this a sign of not letting go of the past? Does this mean that I will have a hard time gaining momentum towards my future?

I guess I want to see it as, that looking back thing, as looking at whats pushing me. Giving me that nudge to move on. Those memorie, well, I plan to hold on to them for as long as I can. Those are the only ones that I can hold on to... Im rambling - dont worry about me...

Driving from San Diego early in the morning last weekend, I found myself looking for something to amuse me whil I was playing with the ford's V6 engine...

We had to drop Yoyo Off at San Diego early in the morning so he could fly back to Alamawhatdo. Anyhoo, drivin back...

About 30 miles from San Diego, all my passengers fell asleep. Yeah, slumber - swat... now what? Between the Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD and the nicely paved freeway, there was nothing else to really prevent me from dozing off.

Lo and behold... Four, count em', one two three four supercars (the 4th one aint that grand...) joined the pack.

You know how people start to crown around celebrities. Trying to get a closer look or at most shake their hands? Or, check out who's taller? Or, uhm...try to get a picture? Well, that's how I felt.  That's exactly what I did. And thats what most of the pther drivers tried doing too. hmmm...

Well, on my rearview, I saw her face.

It was supercar number one: a black Ferrari 360 Spider.

Net Value: $280,000.

Then, tailing her like a horny teenage boy was supercar number 2.

A Maserati Gransport, white with blue trims. Damn... Net value $110,000

Supercar number 3 does not lag behind. Even if she tried, this baby cannot go slow. She looks like 150 miles per hour while being parked.

She was a Lamborghini Gallardo 2005. This baby was a concept car last time I saw it on the net. Net Value: $190,000

Well, just for kicks, I had to include this poor thing. The fourth car was a Chevy Corvette. Net worth $65,000. 

There was also the Cadillace Escalade with a satelite reciever on its roof, but, that's not important.

Anyhoo, for the next 40 miles, I found myself trying get closer to these cars. They excited when we were somewhere approaching Norwalk. Damn, those cars can go - but... hmm... Im speechless.

I tried to get closer, catch up, took pictures... I was starstrucked.

Pic1:The Ferrari and the Maserati       Pic 2: The Lamborghini Gallardo

I just started with my New Job at  Bank of America.

Im all excited about everything right now. It's something new and it's something that I really think I can do. I just need to hang in there. People I know might thin that the call center industry is not the best industry there to work at. Well, I still think that way. I still have alot of other things I can do. The way I see it, Im in this big company now and I can always move sideways or better move up from my current position.

Ive met some new people and I think most of the people in the team are big dreamers like me. Im sure they will help in making me reach my goals faster by motivating me and turning things into a challenge. I like the pressure and competition.

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I miss Madsy - I wish I can see her even on webcam.  Its been almost 4 months since I actually really saw her and its going to be a good few more months (hopefully) before I see her again. I wish she could go online with a webcam. I, well, I just wanna see her. I guess its not just our luck na she doesnt get to go to a place with a webcam. Oh well, if theres one thing that Ive learned with her its this thing called patience.

I really really terribly miss her. Everything that I do here, its not just for Mama and Alyssa... The work that Im doing is to make our lives better her, but aside from that, everything that Im doing I have MAds in mind most of the time. THe future that we will be sharing and the dreams we will be fulfilling together...

I wish I can see her again. The more days that pass by when I dont see her (even online) there more I become weak. But she's there, she is the source of my strength. I am inlove. I am inlove WITH her... She is there when Im fraustrated and is there even before I feel stressed. HEr mere messages make me feel better - Imagine how empowered I'll be if I see her online...

I miss her - I miss the person that I am inlove with - the person that provides me with all the reason for existence and all the reasons to go on... I love her with everything I have. Without her, I will just crumble...