Yesterday afternoon I kinda found myself back on my bed after a short nights sleep. I wanted to just rest my back before I took a shower. It was fourth of July, we were expecting visitors and I was scheduled for work. Shit...

During my 30-45 minute nap, I had a short dream. It was vivid. It was, short though.

In front of me was a baby-. Around one or two years old. She was seated on a tall chair for kids. She was looking at someone else though. I was feeding her baby food. The oddest thing about that dream was that the baby looked alot like my girlfriend. She looked alot like Madsy, only 20 years younger.

I felt I was happy in my dream.

I woke up... Excited. Happy.

I love this life. It aint perfect, it aint even close to being parfect. It's as bad as bad life can be. I love it still. I have Madsy.

Earlier today, I foung myself drinking a can of Red Bull and watching the Exam Cram Video of the Real Estate Exam Lecture. I read, took down notes, listenned... just like school. However, I also paused, rewinded, fast forwarded and took a break from the lecturere from time to time.

After lunch, I proceeded to the heart of Los Angeles. The exam was at the LA convention center right next to the Staples center.

I got to the exam concourse just in time. I went in, showed my exam permit and ID and was ushered to my seat. The room was enormous.

There were 17 columns of four people with at least a dozen rows. We were almost 2000. The exam started. 150 questions, multiple choice with a margin of error of 30% or 45 questions. At first, I did not want to under estimate it. Then, I realized, I only had one source of into. The DVD and booklet that I was watching. I realized that I was taking the California Department of Rea Estate Salesperson Examination. It was big, It was serious.

I finished an hour before the end of the exams. I read through the booklet again and corrected my mistakes on the answer sheets. I found that the questions in Taxation, Mortgaging and Lending and Estate Principles were more difficult that the several math questions I have encountered (to my surprise as well).

In a few days, I will know if I am a license Real Estate Agent of California. Big money.... Very big money... Dreams! Here I come!

In other news...

I met Mahiar... well, Mahiar is the husband of Kimia. Kimia, co owns the Kickboxing/Muay Thai Gym next door to Coffee Bean. Joe is also the kickboxing instructor of Alyssa. She has had problems focussing her physical energy the past few months, so we figured why not have her focus on the punching bags instead.

Well, back to Mahiar. Mahiar is one of the Corporate Bosses of E-telecare (aslo known by their new name, although I cant seem to remember.)

I asked him if he can get me a job there. I heard he travels forth and back to Manila several times a year. I wouldnt mind doing that ya know... Well, thats that. I have levelled my credit card debts. My bacnk account is almost zero, Im still waiting for that big break for my career.

Im happy though... Contented...

Thanx Mads - for the supprt, the strength, the prayers -  for everything - I love you

Ok - I wanna update how Im feeling nowadays...

Aside from being madly and isanely inlove with my Girl Mads -

I also feel a little bad about not ebing able to provide for may family lately. Im keeping a low paying job with little hours. And, even if Im not being lead weight for them, Im not helping din to begin with.

I want to get somethine worthwhile going. I want to work something out of what I am. I just feel bad when I find myself dreaming about things and am still stuck on where I was last month.

Mads and I, we talk around midnight here...thats after lunch in Manila. And, when I say g'bye and g'night to her, she also goes home to take an afternoon nap. Maybe, it's one thing we do in hopes of seeing each other... Even if it is just in our dreams. That's where we started though...dreaming.

I thank Mads for keeping me afloat. Without her I would be suffering more right now. My dreams came true with you. And with you, I will make more dreams come true.

HMm... That's that... just updating. I miss alot of things... LB, Antipolo... my friends...my cousins... Soon... soon enough

At work today, an old Filipino couple came in to order coffee. the transaction itself went normally, till the wife openned her mouth.

"You know? The only place in the world where Starbucks has not invaded yet is in Italy!"

Shannon, the supervisor only said "uhm...yeah, I guess so."

"You see? We have been to Italy several times in our trips! We have visited Rome, Naples, Florence... and there are no starbucks there..."

Shannon looked at me and continued doing her job. I continued making their drinks. The lady kept on saying:

"The coffee that they have there is the best in the world..."

Yada yada yada

At that moment, I just wanted the FIlipino couple to leave. I gave them their order and bid them a nice day.

I realized, alot of Filipinos are realy obnoxious. I have experienced it several times. When I was a busboy for Max's Restaurant, I would serve Filipinos and that's where I realized, there are reasons for me to lose respect for some kababayans.

There are those Filipinos who would always flaunt their expensive clothes, jewelry and cellphones. They would speak in loud Tagalog or ill-english. Some Filipinos call for the waiters and the bussboys and use the famous "psssst!" way of calling Pinoys. There are those who would use another chair to raise the leg on it. There are also those who would loudly use their toothpick, and there are also those who would look at me and make me feel that I'm not welcome.

Why are they soo obnoxious and pig headed? Aren't we all Filipinos? I realized, that most of them acted that way becuase they still feel that they are above everyone else just becuase they are here in the States.

I've met people from Canada, Europe, South America, Africa and Asia. I have enjoyed conversations with them talking about the weather to Victor Hugo. They seem so interested in what I wanted to say and they made an effort to keep the conversation going. they always bid goodbye and to have a nice day. These people, I meet for the first time. They becomse interested in the Philippines when I tell them about the people who speak and understand english, about the pristince beaches and the waterfalls and fireflies experience I've had back home.

When I meet Filipinos, they seem to begin to brag about their life. About everything that they have. They seem to start to belittle all the other Filipinos, specially those who are still in the Philippines.

"Terrible na talaga ang situation sa Pilipinas no? Kaya ayoko nang umuwi - Nakakahiya - nakakadiri. Kaya ako nag american citizen eh..."

I can only nod in reply, not to approve, but just to finish what conversation is impending.

I remember one friend of my fathers who talked to me and my brother when we were about to go home. "Wow! you are going back to Pilipins? and then when you get der you will be famous becos you are from the states. You prends will be saying how amazing are you...  edi you can yabang yabang with all the gerls..."

Why are Filipinos this way? I do not know.

I think they think they are better people, that they know more...

The couple left. They ordered what they called was what their system needs since they are sleepy.

A triple DECAF Cappuccino - NO FOAM.

"I dont like the foam foam of your Cappuccino - I've been to Italy and they have...yada yada yada yada..." Said the Filipino lady when she ordered.

I've always wanted to be a Barista - It happened this year.

I've always wanted to finish school - It happened this year.

I've always wanted to meet that girl that will make me see life in a far different way - It happened this year.

I've always wanted to go back to Majayjay and camp - did that this year.

I've always wanted to attend the Pahiyas Festival - did that this year.

I've always wanted to go all over Batangas - did that this year.

I've always wanted to work with Dianne Castillejo and Mark Nelson of Sports Unlimited - It happened this year.

I've always liked dreaming - it's my favorite thing to do.

But I like making my dreams come true better... That's where all the fun is.

Dearest hunn,

Hey Sexy, we are chatting right now. In between, I sneak out to make this letter for you. It's a letter that I dont have to send you. The things that I will be saying here are some of the things which I have already told you in chat, whispered in your ear, wrote on a post it or said in my head when we sleep.

I still cannot believe how I fall in love with you more each day. It has been two months since we were last together beh. It's been two months since I last kissed your lips, hugged you tight and stared into your eyes. It has been that long since I last saw your pout or felt your hands. It has been that long since I las had your head on my shoulder or chest.

Everyday we defy the odds by ending one more day and starting a new one. Every single day is another day closer to when we will together start the rest of our lives.

Beh, it pains me to know that you are half a planet away. It does however, strengthen me to know that we are defying half a planet when we keep our love even in this set-up. This will make us strong hun. This will make us better. Beh, I dont want to be in this situation unless it is with you and with you alone Mads.

Beh, gusto ko na umuwi. I wanna show up in front of your apartments door, in the rain, with a boquet of flowers and oreos. Gusto na kita makasama over a beer, hot chocolate or coffee on a rainy night. I wanna stare at your eyes while my hand holds your hand.

I remember that morning when I left. We got out of the subdivision in one taxi to get you your own taxi. I went down the cab to walk to the other taxi when we hugged, we kissed and stared at each others eyes for the last time. I saw you walk into your taxi. Your Taxi tails mine and when your turned right and mine turned left, I saw you, with your hand on the window, my hand reaching for yours, our eyes fixed...

Thank you hunn for making me want to work hard, for making me want to settle for something better. Thank you beh for giving me a calm heart and a settled soul. Thank you for making me want to make my dreams come true every single waking moment.

I love you Madel Socrates. I love you so much.

We can do this. One day at a time. Each day more special than the one that has passed.

Yours Forever,

Your Jabby

When I was looking for a company to do my OJT Sports Unlimited was on the top of my list. I had very little time to fix papers, and the odds that I would land it there was slim to none. A friend got to work with Correspondents, but that closest thing I know that went to that... labo.

Anyhoo - dreams come true - just be patient and always stay focused.

Last weekend - dream come true. I was able to hang out with Sports Unlimited for work and liesure. Had Coffee Friday with Mark Nelson, Dianne Castillejo her husband Anton and their son MAtt. Vera was there too and a host of other people.

The next day, we went hang gliding and ate at a burger joint. That night, we went to clubs, drank and had billiards. Well, at least I can beat mark in one sport, and thats billiards...

The next day, sobering up, we all were at Vera and Robs house to hang... I had to work. They had to go to muscle beach and hike up to the Hollywood sign...

...and that was my stint with Sports Unlimited. We are all planning to go Scuba Diving in Palawan next year. Whoopieee!!

for pics-click here! http://jab.blogs.friendster.com/photos/jab_working/

My Girlfriend and I, when we talk, we always find great strings of words that tie us both together, tighter and tighter... like a nice squeezy hug....

here are some of them:

~ It was inconcievable - Logic could not have thought of what we have as possible. We are both dreamers, and dreams most of the time defy the impossible. ~

~mahal kita, mahal mo ako - that's that - that is my whole world now...~

~"She acts like summer and walks like rain*" - ikaw yun beh. When you walk parang palaging may nasa isip. Pero, when we talk, it's like a sunny day all over again... *Drops of Jupiter - Train - ~

~ There is one thing that I wont get tired of doing... But that one thing is regrettable - wiping your tears...~

~now you have a different reason to have tears in your eyes -  A smile on your lips...~

"When I was young I realized that life is an adventure... Now that Im no longer young in age, I fear life's adventure. I wouldnt want to go through it without Madel. I fear I might miss something wonderful or not appreciate something beautiful. I fear that I will miss the point of this whole adventure..."

~ nung sinabi ko sa sarili ko: ang tanga tanga ko! ano pang inaantay ko? Si MAdel - baka makawala... Buti nalang - kasi ngayon alam kong ang pinaka mamahal ko ay pinakamamahal ako ~

~When I sleep, I always wished it was your eyes I would see last, your scent that will bring me to my dreams and your warmth that will keep me comfortable~

 - I was mesmerized seeing the drops hit the concrete for a while i let myself indulge in the cold air and the mist.  I felt alone, honestly i was thinking about this could have been better if jab is here. i enjoyed the silence the calmness another time for myself but i have another part that is not here yet, im still incomplete. theres a part he alone can fill.- Madsy

-this thing they call life makes sense with you in it beh... -

- we will fill our life with personal jokes, private laughter and secret bad things - 10/13/05

-  supreme happiness due to intoxicating love resulting to intense feeling of longing and excitement -

Well, I’m just blabbing because I’m missing my boyfriend right now. But with zest of loyalty and patience I know that we have a nice future together. We will be together soon. I love him that much. He is worth every pain, every sacrifice we had all these year. I love with him with all that I am and with all that I will ever be - Madsy's blog september 14, 2005

I had a job interview with Bank of America this week, and with Nissan Foothill. Both job interviews went well.

Nissan wanted me to get some papers processed so that I can start working with them. Bank of America, after the first, second and the third interview wants me to start by the end of the first month. Account Manager is my job title. Im hoping after a couple of months I will be able to go up or get promoted, or move to another department. Im in a big company, might as well make it big right?

Here are me target goals in the next 16 months.

Be able to get promoted in Bank of America.

Buy my first BMW for Christmas.

Go to Boracay then Palawan.

Buy an investment property.

And ask my Madsy to Marry me.

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Somewhere in Pasadena, there are about several people who cant seem to get to sleep even if its almost midnight. I forgot to use decaf espresso on the drinks  - I used real espresso - ooops! sorry, My bad...

Somewhere, right now - a kid is bugging his/her parents being all hyper and giddy - I forgot to use the No Sugar Added poweder on the kids Hot Chocolate... oops - sorry...